Closets are the preferred liming spots for ghosts and monsters. Closet doors are always opening slowly and squeakily (no one ever oils a closet door…NO ONE) to reveal shadowy Slender man- type figures. Ghosts never chill in dining rooms or patios. Nopes. They’re always all up in your stuff, probably smelling your clothes like a creepy ex-girlfriend.
People keep lots of stuff in closets. Clothes, shoes, books, skeletons. Everyone has a skeleton…IN THE CLOSET. Why? Why in the closet? Why not in the bathroom? “The skeletons will come spilling out of the bathroom!”. Sounds good, why not? From this day on, all my skeletons will be stored in the bathroom. Look there, if you want to know my secrets.
Closets are also used to trap people. Just ask gay people, Harry Potter and R. Kelly. All trapped in CLOSETS.
Closets are also known to be the entrances to magical lands, such as Narnia, and wherever Sabrina used to go. It’s pretty brilliant, if you think about it. Wanna go out? Just step into your closet!
And finally, some closets contain something more sinister and terrifying than others -certain people’s clothes. I am fairly certain that no ghost will ever venture into Snooki’s closet. It’s just too scary.
Excuse me while I shut my closet door…don’t want anything going in…or coming out.
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