UWI. The University of the West Indies. A seemingly productive institute of education. A place where people of all ages, races, and walks of life go to learn and share ideas.
OR IS IT?
Is it something far more sinister? Perhaps…a place set out to frustrate you and lead you to your eventual DEMISE?
UWI seems to have employed the Survival of the Fittest theory. Only the strongest will get out alive.
Here are some ways in which this place will try to kill you. Read and take note, dear student.
1. Heart attacks- during your years at UWI, you will experience several mini heart attacks caused by the shock of seeing unexpected grades posted. Imagine anticipating an ‘A’ and seeing an ‘F’ instead. It is enough to send someone into a panic attack, severe depression and eventual DEATH. Figuratively speaking, of course. Have your lecturers on speed dial and sharpen your pleading skills. Turn that 39 into a 40!
2. Drowning- This place will attempt to kill you in the flood waters that arise during the rainy season. Learn to swim. And buy anti-bacterial soap.
3. Heatstroke- Hot? Looking for relief? Don’t go to the food court. The lack of AC might just kill you…Wear as little as possible. Especially if you have a six pack ;).
4. Frostbite- On the other hand, the chill of some class rooms may result in freezing to death. Walk with coat, gloves and winter boots.
5. Starvation- Those of you who survive the intense heat of the food court may very well perish in the long lines at KFC and Subway. Walk with lunch OR go at non peak hours.
If, after all of this, you can escape and walk away with a degree, then I applaud you.
Good luck surviving.
