Head Teef!
(Both gone we can assume)
Man is dotish
Woman is trouble
The End
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
5 everyday occurrences that can easily be explained by supernatural phenomenon
It is often said that the simplest explanation is usually the right one. I do not subscribe to this school of thought. It is boring. And lame. I don’t do lame. I do awesome. And unreasonable. :D
1. Tangled headphones- So your day is going awesome, and you have some free time to take in a few tunes (Friday perhaps?) and you reach for your headphones…and they are irrevocably tied in the most complicated knot in the history of knots. WTF. There is NO reasonable explanation for this. It is obvious that this is the work of Satan. Yes. Satan tangles our headphones when we aren’t looking. It’s all a part of his master plan to take our souls. That sneaky bastard.
2. Slamming Doors- It is not the wind. Your house is haunted. Possibly by the ghost of an unruly teenager who persists in slamming doors in the afterlife.
3. Disappearance of Food- A bar of chocolate. A piece of chicken. Some pasta. It could be anything. But it just disappears…POOF. Where did it go? You might blame your younger sibling, or a parent. BUT THEY ARE INNOCENT. Scientists have recently discovered that small black holes (think ‘Star Trek’) are opening up in refrigerators and cupboards and swallowing desirable food items. Your food is in the future. Or space.
4. Malfunctioning Machines- Washing machine shaking too hard. Toaster ejecting bread several feet in the air. Television refusing to turn on. These are not merely appliances getting old. These are POSSESSED. By DEMONS. To drive you INSANE. And it works. Yes, it does.
5. Objects mysteriously moved/lost- Lost your keys? Handbag moved from one room to another? Your memory is not failing. No one is interfering with your things. It is a Poltergeist. Existing only to make mischief, these horrid creatures will irritate you to death. And there’s not a thing you can do about it.
God help us all.
1. Tangled headphones- So your day is going awesome, and you have some free time to take in a few tunes (Friday perhaps?) and you reach for your headphones…and they are irrevocably tied in the most complicated knot in the history of knots. WTF. There is NO reasonable explanation for this. It is obvious that this is the work of Satan. Yes. Satan tangles our headphones when we aren’t looking. It’s all a part of his master plan to take our souls. That sneaky bastard.
2. Slamming Doors- It is not the wind. Your house is haunted. Possibly by the ghost of an unruly teenager who persists in slamming doors in the afterlife.
3. Disappearance of Food- A bar of chocolate. A piece of chicken. Some pasta. It could be anything. But it just disappears…POOF. Where did it go? You might blame your younger sibling, or a parent. BUT THEY ARE INNOCENT. Scientists have recently discovered that small black holes (think ‘Star Trek’) are opening up in refrigerators and cupboards and swallowing desirable food items. Your food is in the future. Or space.
4. Malfunctioning Machines- Washing machine shaking too hard. Toaster ejecting bread several feet in the air. Television refusing to turn on. These are not merely appliances getting old. These are POSSESSED. By DEMONS. To drive you INSANE. And it works. Yes, it does.
5. Objects mysteriously moved/lost- Lost your keys? Handbag moved from one room to another? Your memory is not failing. No one is interfering with your things. It is a Poltergeist. Existing only to make mischief, these horrid creatures will irritate you to death. And there’s not a thing you can do about it.
God help us all.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Friday
Rebecca Black
Friday.
Who is she?
What does it mean?
Perhaps the song intends to highlight some important societal issues. For instance, the absence of a verb in the statement “We so excited” could be emphasising the poor education system. She may also be rebelling against the proper grammar inflicted upon her by her elders. Verbs are evil. We must leave them out!
But she does emphasize the importance of knowing the days of the week. I never knew that Thursday came before Friday and that Saturday and Sunday followed. Thank you Rebecca. You have done the world a great service.
The video shows her and her friends driving and partying. Now, when I was 12 I do not recall being allowed to drive or party. She is clearly stating that she has the coolest parents, and others ought to let their underaged children do the same. She is fighting for the rights of children to partayyyy!
The random black rapper is clearly a pedophile or drug dealer. Just part of the smallie party scene.
‘Friday’ also shows the difficult decisions teens have to make on a daily basis. Bus? Or friend’s convertible? Front seat? Or back seat? FRONT SEAT???? Or BACK SEAT??? WHERE SHOULD SHE SIT????
Obviously, this song is not perfect. She neglects Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. We can only hope that these will be covered in her next highly anticipated single.
Who is she though? No one seems to know. It is quite possible that she is the wicked spawn of Ke$ha and Justin Bieber, heralding the end of times.
She may also be a robot. (Her heavy autotuning is a dead giveaway).
Rebecca Black may also be an evil genius, using subliminal messaging and social networking sites to take over the world.
It is also possible that she is Satan. Rebecca Black. Sings a song entitled Friday. Friday being the unlucky day of the week. Black being an unlucky colour.
Black Friday.
OH EM GEE
The end is near.
Friday.
Who is she?
What does it mean?
Perhaps the song intends to highlight some important societal issues. For instance, the absence of a verb in the statement “We so excited” could be emphasising the poor education system. She may also be rebelling against the proper grammar inflicted upon her by her elders. Verbs are evil. We must leave them out!
But she does emphasize the importance of knowing the days of the week. I never knew that Thursday came before Friday and that Saturday and Sunday followed. Thank you Rebecca. You have done the world a great service.
The video shows her and her friends driving and partying. Now, when I was 12 I do not recall being allowed to drive or party. She is clearly stating that she has the coolest parents, and others ought to let their underaged children do the same. She is fighting for the rights of children to partayyyy!
The random black rapper is clearly a pedophile or drug dealer. Just part of the smallie party scene.
‘Friday’ also shows the difficult decisions teens have to make on a daily basis. Bus? Or friend’s convertible? Front seat? Or back seat? FRONT SEAT???? Or BACK SEAT??? WHERE SHOULD SHE SIT????
Obviously, this song is not perfect. She neglects Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. We can only hope that these will be covered in her next highly anticipated single.
Who is she though? No one seems to know. It is quite possible that she is the wicked spawn of Ke$ha and Justin Bieber, heralding the end of times.
She may also be a robot. (Her heavy autotuning is a dead giveaway).
Rebecca Black may also be an evil genius, using subliminal messaging and social networking sites to take over the world.
It is also possible that she is Satan. Rebecca Black. Sings a song entitled Friday. Friday being the unlucky day of the week. Black being an unlucky colour.
Black Friday.
OH EM GEE
The end is near.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Aliens- what they really want
The typical alien film usually goes like this: Stars of film shot going about doing normal stuff such as navigating the waters of dysfunctional family life, being President or being a scientist (who discovers the aliens’ signal). You know. Normal everyday stuff. Then alien ships start hovering over the major cities (Nope. Port of Spain is not one of them). Panic ensues. Then BOOM. They attack. Humans (putting aside race/age/gender/ethnic differences) band together and defeat them. The end. Yay.
But it’s never really explained WHY they attack. Why come so many light years just to blow us up? Seems a bit pointless. But a few films have somewhat explained their motives.
V- they want to screw us. Literally. They want to breed with humans in order to speed up their own evolution. These are some of the best looking aliens you will ever see…on the outside. Inside they’re like lizards. And who would want to have sex with that?
E.T- He just wants to go home. God, Drew Barrymore, quit crying and let him go!
Skyline- I haven’t actually seen this one, but judging from the trailer, the aliens are here to save us from cheesy one liners and over done special effects.
War of the Worlds- To kill Tom Cruise. He was way crazy back then, jumping on Oprah’s couch and all.
Independence Day- Honestly…I have no idea. Maybe they were really angry, emo aliens, and they just wanted to destroy things. I would suggest screaming into a pillow, but to each his own.
Avatar- Are they the aliens? Or are we?
District 9- Cat food. Apparently it’s addictive.
X-Files- plain old abductions-probe humans in the ass-mess with Mulder’s mind storyline. Normel scenez.
So there you have it.
Let the invasion begin.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
An apology
To my blog,
Im sorry I’ve ignored you for so long. Life etc, got in the way.
But never again. I need you. I need you like Lady Gaga needs to be carried in an egg. I need you like Trinidad needs Carnival. Without you my brain rots under the unholy influence of tv and bad novels (I hate you Debbie Macomber, you are the WORST writer ever. Damn my compulsive desire to finish every book I start.)
I was inundated with requests to update. Alright. ONE request. But still. I was missed. By one person. Yay?
It’s carnival! I never liked it before, but once you have experienced running around in drunken ecstasy,covered in paint and soaked to the bone, you can never go back. Life will never be the same. Campus Carnival (mas for the poor, struggling students) FTW!
K, that’s about all my cobwebby brain can come up with.
I won’t ramble on and on.
Ah gone
Im sorry I’ve ignored you for so long. Life etc, got in the way.
But never again. I need you. I need you like Lady Gaga needs to be carried in an egg. I need you like Trinidad needs Carnival. Without you my brain rots under the unholy influence of tv and bad novels (I hate you Debbie Macomber, you are the WORST writer ever. Damn my compulsive desire to finish every book I start.)
I was inundated with requests to update. Alright. ONE request. But still. I was missed. By one person. Yay?
It’s carnival! I never liked it before, but once you have experienced running around in drunken ecstasy,covered in paint and soaked to the bone, you can never go back. Life will never be the same. Campus Carnival (mas for the poor, struggling students) FTW!
K, that’s about all my cobwebby brain can come up with.
I won’t ramble on and on.
Ah gone
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