Aliens- what they really want

The typical alien film usually goes like this: Stars of film shot going about doing normal stuff such as navigating the waters of dysfunctional family life, being President or being a scientist (who discovers the aliens’ signal). You know. Normal everyday stuff. Then alien ships start hovering over the major cities (Nope. Port of Spain is not one of them). Panic ensues. Then BOOM. They attack. Humans (putting aside race/age/gender/ethnic differences) band together and defeat them. The end. Yay.

But it’s never really explained WHY they attack. Why come so many light years just to blow us up? Seems a bit pointless. But a few films have somewhat explained their motives.

V- they want to screw us. Literally. They want to breed with humans in order to speed up their own evolution. These are some of the best looking aliens you will ever see…on the outside. Inside they’re like lizards. And who would want to have sex with that?

E.T- He just wants to go home. God, Drew Barrymore, quit crying and let him go!

Skyline- I haven’t actually seen this one, but judging from the trailer, the aliens are here to save us from cheesy one liners and over done special effects.

War of the Worlds- To kill Tom Cruise. He was way crazy back then, jumping on Oprah’s couch and all.

Independence Day- Honestly…I have no idea. Maybe they were really angry, emo aliens, and they just wanted to destroy things. I would suggest screaming into a pillow, but to each his own.

Avatar- Are they the aliens? Or are we?

District 9- Cat food. Apparently it’s addictive.

X-Files- plain old abductions-probe humans in the ass-mess with Mulder’s mind storyline. Normel scenez.

So there you have it.

Let the invasion begin.