If life were like the movies...

…then some awesome recurring story lines would happen in real life. You know, those random scenes or stories that happen over and over to movie people and only movie people.

For instance, in every western ever made, there is always that one guy who walks into that one bar where the music stops, and everyone stares at him. I’m assuming it’s because he’s a stranger and not because he has an amazing outfit or something on his face. This has never happened in real life. Ever. Ever. Ever. No one has ever stopped the music of Shakers by simply entering.

No one.

If life were like the movies, then every time some hysterical girl chopped off her hair in a fit of rage or depression, it would actually end up looking very couture. Like Katy Perry or Halle Berry in Catwoman. However, life sucks, and over dramatic bitches usually end up with a badly zugged up hair cut.

In almost every teen movie, there is a wild party, after which the mess disappears and no one gets into trouble. That’s just an urban legend, don’t pay attention to it, kids.

In possibly one of the most imaginative and creative scenes ever, airport security allows lovelorn characters through to get to their one true love before they fly away. However, real life airport security probably won’t let you through without running a full background check, (invasive) body scan and interrogation, and will probably die laughing if you requested to catch up with your love before he or she left.

And finally, if life were like the movies, then the DNA would come back in a matter of seconds and the bad guy would be caught in an hour.

Oh fiction. You are hilarious.