So it’s that time of year again. The time when new, lost and bewildered UWI students descend upon the campus in their numbers. I remember so well being new, lost and bewildered…it feels like just the other day I was asking directions to admin. Wait. That might have actually been the other day.
Anyway.
I have compiled a list of guidelines that could help the new UWI entrant in those first critical days. Trust me. I’m a graduate. Almost.
-You, my friend, have not only graduated high school. You have also graduated from your high school tuck shop. You have several fast food restaurants to choose from. I advise you to eat KFC every day. This will most assuredly turn the freshman fifteen into a healthy freshman fifty.
-Ensure that you attend the Chutney fete and the Fresher’s fete. Clearly, they are of important educational value, as the university supports them.
-You have been given an important talisman- your ID card. You can now ward off evil cover charges in Zen on Wednesday nights. Use it well.
-Always leave assignments for the last minute. You aren’t a real UWI student unless you have gotten an A on an essay you did the night before.
-One word. Gateboys. You will be spending most of your time there.
-The big building in the middle of the quadrangle? It’s called the library. There are a lots of books there. You know, those things with paper? Never mind.
-Always ask where a shuttle is going before you get on. Or else you might end up in MedSci as opposed to the other side of campus.
-The lecturer sees you when you are sleeping (in his class). He knows when you are awake. He also knows when you get up and leave his class. Yes. Even if you sit at the back. He has seen you. And he has marked you. You have been warned.
-It’s raining? Haha. Prepare for the great flood. Ground level lockers will be soaked. You won’t be able to get to any classes (not that you were going anyway…). The engineering faculty ought to be ashamed of the shoddy construction that allows flooding. REALLY.
-The engineering pond. No. I cannot tell you what it is or why it is there. The engineering students don’t know either. Just don’t go swimming in it.
-Well, I hope these pointers will make for a wonderful UWI experience. Of course, if you want to actually graduate some day you might want to follow a slightly different plan.
Good luck.
hahahahaha. very clever. who needs the UWI pool when there's the Engineering pond? (with wildlife in it too ^__^)
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to put that YOU WE Supermarket has really cheap beer for those really shitty days. If you want a cigarette, you can get every make and variety by walking down outside rituals. Indie is the sweetest bargirl on campus, and always tell her drunken customers goodbye :)
ReplyDeletehaha...i never got around to buying beer from the super market, preferring to sneak a shot of tequila when the going got tough lol...up to now i havent gone to the bar...*siiiiigh*
ReplyDeleteWell... not going to the bar, that's a good thing! At least you all have a bar, -_- Arthur Lok doesn't -_- lols
ReplyDeletehahaha...but i am told lok jack has a real pond...with fish and all that, instead of those exotic coke bottles the eng pond has to offer loll
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, with the coys, lol at "real fish" Umz, that and the security is tite, the cafe is super awesome and the vending machines work lols -_- I make sure to have lots of crisp new fives for them. I love choco, so yeah lol.
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